To me he looks like a pure American.. Probably plays football, oh yes loves the new Stuck-video, and dates a cheerleader from the Silicon Valley..well, just my opinion.. now I'll go and check how our Tommy3v-boy looks like.. where was the picture??

This guy was an ass who cut into the line.

he looks like a dumb gino from woodbridge.....

I like tip-toeing across strawberry fields with my wooden shoes that are designed with grey banana peels that tie around my ankles while juggling 8 unripe tomatoes on the bridge of my nose, all the while, my distant alaskan cousin is contemplating why the sun never enjoys a vacation in hawaii since its birth billions of years ago.

In that case.. I understand.But really, if you really do all that with a cousin like that.. welcome here!! You are almost like one of us!But we need proof.. yes, proof.. you got a pic of you doing that??

I like skipping in tomato gardens barefoot with telephone wires wrapped around my index fingers carrying an endangered shark on my back while chewing a dinosaur fossil found in my sister's space shuttle, all the while my 3 year old pet african parrott is studying yoga in the cayman islands with his instructor while drinking worm saliva on the backs of a group of dwarfs.

You like a lot of weird stuff, you know? But the question is, did you also cut into the line? Because that is a No No, says Steph... And Steph knows.. And hey, can I take a ride with your sisters space shuttle? After all, that would be a major Yes Yes..

“ Triple will you stop reading the funny papers and help me with this joker!” Soul Cat’s hands were as slippery as an eel’s trying to subdue the dwarfy perp. The dumb jackass was covered in what appeared to be a combination of garden muck and worm saliva.Triple automatically slam dunked the Washington Post she’d been thumbing through right into the big green dumpster as she ran half way down the grimy alleyway grabbing the ‘Bono’ impersonator by his banana wraps yanking them unceremoniously upwards twinning them around his groin rodeo style with a nicely knotted twist affectively cutting off the blabber mouth mid-sentence as he yowled a pathetic squeel. “God I hate it when we get U2 concert duty…we always get the freaks!.” Officer Soul Cat grunted just as the perp tried to hoist her police badge from her chest-pocket with his snarling knashing teeth. She elbowed him in his eye socket slowing him down for a half second. Seizing his left arm she hooked and bent it to his hip bone just as Triple applied a nessasary thrust of her knee to the middle of his back and he flew face-down onto the grungy flthy tarmack that was coating the alley’s floor like a mushy carpet. She sat hard on his body effectively pinning him. Grunting he whinned over and over “ Let me go.. let me go..I have to catch the space shuttle before it leaves! I have to go please ..I have to goooo! I have a ticket damn-it! U2 gave me the ticket! I’ve got to get my parrot to Mars!” Triple who had subdued the culprits wrists began tieing him up like a Christmas goose with one of the loose ends of what seemed like miles upon miles of phone wire. She looked up at Soul Cat with a comical expression.Soul Cat nodded to the cable. “ He pulled that off the poles down on Broadway and 97th Streets last night. I saw it on the news as I was making spagetti and my famous shrimp salad. It’s a wonder this cracker didn’t sizzle fry his nuts off .” Triple panted “What the hell were you planing to do with all this phone wire mister?” She still had her knee riding his spine as she waited to catch her breath.Turning his head sideways he lisped out a corner of his squashed mouth “ It was my contribution to the blast off..”Both officers looked at each other blankly then silently mouthed ‘BLAST-OFF’. At their silence he rushed on as if they were the densest clods on the planet “ It was to hold down the sharks and dinosaurs that would inevitable vie for a seat on the shuttle. I mean ,my GOD can you imagine sharing a seat with an edgy group like that? I’m too celebrated for THAT! I juggle shit on my nose and twaddle threw fruit fields and I’m damn proud of it!” a swarmy girlish-like giggle burst from his puckered lips. A slimy river of drool had started a path down his bunched-up cheek and was beginning to puddle in the grim. To there horror it was full of tomato skins and seedlings.Grimacing as little shudders of revulsion ran up and down her sensibilities Triple asked “ Ok and just where is this shuttle parked Buck Rogers?” Triple winked up at Soul Cat who threw in “ Yeah Bucky-boy where’s the big bright white and shinny thing fix’n to rocket out of here from?” At this inquiry he started really bucking off the ground like a stuck pig and squeeled. “ It’s hiding inside U2’s big fucking lemon you crazy bitches!!! Don’t you know anything?” Triple applied just the right amount of preasure to the assinine's brain stem right at the spot connecting his spine to his body functions.He quieted down.Officer Soul Cat rolled her eyes smirking “ Is that a fact?” she really couldn’t stop the healthy snork if her life had depended on it. “ Well were sure sorry to tell ya this buddy but ya better inform your imaginary pilot friend that we gotta real big ‘bitchy’ feeling your gonna miss your ride!” Both women grabbed hold of the squirrely fellow heaving him onto his feet.Triple’s shoulder radio crackled on and the usual police codes filled the air. Answering in kind she and Soul Cat proceeded to lead the perp out of the alley. Out on the street they hustled him into the back of the squad car none to gently cause he’d started screaming police brutality and kicking them for all he was worth. He was yelping that all Canadians were wanna be Alaskans and he owned the TV rights to the setting of the SUN…yep the big yellow one hang’n in the sky and he had absolute proof in his left front pocket. Neither woman was willing to go there so they read him his rights which set off another fire storm of bullying rants. Soul Cat slammed the door shut hoping to at least dull the wailing snivels.Triple’s radio blerped on again and she called to Soul Cat who was writing on a clip board “ Your never gonna believe who we’ve got here” she pointed to the man now sobbing like a baby with his face pressed up against the glass “ That’s effing Mel Gibson!” …. Soul Cat dropped her clip board just as her jaw hit the ground gasping “ No waaaayyyy!!!!!”“ Yes WAY”she was bobbing her head infatically, Triple immediately theorized “ Bet he felt so guilty about the bad press he gave Bono’s movie ‘The Million Dollar Hotel’ that he freak’n went over the deep-end head first!”Soul Cat sighed “ Wow…he even thinks he’s Bono aka Paul ‘Dave’aka Paul errr huhh oh well what ever... Dave Hewson ..Wowzer!.”Triple chimed “triple wowzer!!! I thought he’d be a lot taller in person?” she was actually thinking about his dwarfed brain stem.Both women shook there heads at the whacky whackers they ran into on a daily basis.. but especially on a U2 concert day, cause you could always count on the whackies to fill up the donut-holes if you started feeling a bit bloated from to much Star Bucks and Wonder Pastries… climbing into the front of there cruiser they blasted off for there nearest police precinct to book a first class ticket for Mr. Crackerjack on his long trip to nowhere….THE END ....this from a solid U2 whacky kitten…meow…*by the by I do luv luv Mel but I had to use him anyways*…grrr ruff ruff

Yeah!!What you like now, mister? *blows the smoke from the gun pipe and rides do the sunset singing: Daydream believer... *

no sorry.. that I read from a funny paper!*hangs head in shame and climbs back in the car where Soulie is shaking her head in misbelief*

That was an interesting piece of writing soul cat, i think you're just as screwed up as i am. Wicked!

she's not that bad. She still has her mind, but just chooses not to use it.. It seems to me that you lost yours a loooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnng time ago! =)

Oh my.. he can actually write normal stuff.. I just.. I don't know what to say.. I can't trust anything anymore!!!!And see, Kat there is smiling happily, she is not picking up a fight this time, I'm a witness!And Dave, you.. you broke my heart, with that.. last thing you wrote, I was hoping for an even more screwed up answer!! But still, look around a bit, among these pics and you can see how screwed up Soulie really can be! And remember, in here we love screwed up people!!

*blows bussie thingy's too Triple and Katty Kat and U2 Babes and Matt*.....just want to send my prayers to our shuttle astronauts....and to whisper :The sun and the moon, the stars and the sky,fell from the heavens when we lost our hero's.......but then again;maybe the stars didn't fall...maybe our hero's just got closer to reaching for them......Luv to all.....soulie

I like taking brisk walks on polar ice caps in the middle of june with my purple pitbull inside my shirt biting my left nipple ring which was given to me by a british knight who escaped london on a 3 legged kangaroo born in a test tube during the making of joshua tree, all the while elvis is pondering the meaning of the colour green and why we call it that instead of yellow.

Yes!! He is back!!I thought Soulie scared him, made him feel normal.. but nope he is back... making me wonder though.. why is your pitbull purple? Is he the ultimate Purple Mission?? And what about his obsession about your left nipple ring? Did he already eat the middel nipple ring??Tell me more please.. before SHE comes back and you have my bony knee on the middle of your back again..And yes Soulie.. what a tragedy, what a waste.. 7 fine heros, they were so close that I like to think they made it. They came home..

gawd! had you heard that horrible NASA joke?? It makes me sick.. i'm not even going to repeat it....

I like nodding my head left to right while breaking a pink hilighter with my teeth on top of a london telephone booth wearing a tiara that was given to me by ronald reagan in 1979 before he was elected president inside the pyramid where the pharoah ramses was laid to rest about 10 thousand years ago, all the while the my great-grandmother living in beirut marvels at the blue rock she found ontop of a parked camel outside the movie theatre where wild porcupines roam in an effort to find solace in a coke can.

Finally!!!!!!!!! you gave me something to work with Mr.stingy DAVE....I' ll get back to ya when I come back from San Francisco....gonna listen to my U2 boys non-stop all the waaaaaayyy!!!!grrrr *turn it to eleven*

I like jogging in the most northern desert plain in australia with 2 orange polar bears found in the trojan horse in athens minutes before the famous battle by my great-grand-uncle who was inspecting the ship for used diapers left on board by baby gorillas, all the while my favourite cousin is listening to the sounds of snowflakes landing on lead pipes inside a dam built by beavers and native indians in the middle of winter for protection against meteorites and killer canaries.

sounds like fun! do you write books?? There is an Author called David Hewson... If you don't write books, you should really start!!

I like hanging from a telephone wire by my two pinky toes with a broken plate in my right hand and a fluorescent yellow kitten in my left while blowing smoke out of my mouth started by harry houdini during one of his shows after he created a fireplace in my stomach, all the while, an african pigeon is a playing a water polo match against prince william in a flooded alley way in south central L.A. with all the rappers from shady records watching and throwing pink roses at a calculator left behind by poet.

I like jumping into the deepest eggknog pie with a drunk poet in my right hand and a plate of moussaka in my left while snarling violently at the goat who invented daycare, all the while, a rabid giraffe is climbing up a fence after mike tyson in a burning desert of the eastern Antarctic with all the tax smugglers from abandoned apartments snarling and groaning at the writing posted by a out-of-control attention-seeker.

I guess I have a fan....Dave Hewson (the imposter who wrote the above poem) I have a piece of advice for you: do not merely replicate, try and create. Bye for now.

I like spinning in the widest and most dizzying of heights while the moonlight beats down in the quietest of afternoons with eggplant dip smeared across my forehead to the amusement of astounded children swimming in the Pacific Ocean while keeping their trousers dry by holding them above their little angelic heads, buoyed by dark green tortoises, all the while Winston is considering what to write in his final letter to the screaming people of Gibraltar.

do you have a life pal??

Ok Hamilton Kid.. not funny!! Neither of your poems..

Again, stop copying me you idiot....I guess it's that pathetic Hamilton Kid person I've heard of....get a life!

yeah hammy! grow up!

Sorry to disappoint you, Dave, but it isn't me doing it. I only do things to people who use this website to sell stuff. And really, ???, like I've ever once hidden behind other people's names to say what I thought. If I had a problem with Dave's stuff, which I don't, I'd just say it, I wouldn't make even more of it!? Sure, Dave, I'm pathetic. And yet I'm not the one getting upset because I post a bunch of identical sentences and then someone comes along, and to be stupid, decides to make even more of them!? Obviously what they're doing isn't funny, but you don't fix it by provoking new people into doing it as well. I haven't posted anything on this site for weeks. I'm truly touched, ???, that you miss me enough to force me to reappear and defend myself - "'cos it feels so empty without me" - but I'm sure you'll be happy to know that the only time you'll see me again is when it starts smelling like oranges and spam in here...;)

Ouch, even [email protected] thinking it was me??...:) Now that hurt...:)

And you just happened to come in today?? It was the moussaka that actually gave you in, Hamilton, don't lie to me.. I'm a mom, I have a lier detector built on me!!

Being a huge U2 fan, it shouldn't be a surprise that I come by the site all the time, so that me coming by yesterday wasn't anything special. The only thing that's special is that I keep coming back even though 90% of the comments lately seem to have been about butts, no-butts, whatever...:)And since I actually know how to spell (eggknog?), all I can keep saying is that it wasn't me. I've never even tried moussaka.I mean, if I'm using your weird logic just so I can blame someone, I'd say you did it, ???, and then conveniently blamed the most obvious person who you know hasn't posted anything on the site in weeks and probably won't ever show up to call you on your comment. After all, why would you specifically say it is or isn't funny when no one ever said it was?? See, it just isn't nice blaming the wrong people.I mean, will it make you really really happy, ???, if I say it was me? OK, it was me. What happens now? Nothing! So why would I make a big fuss about it not being me?!? It certainly isn't because I have a perfect reputation to protect...:)

i really do try not to get involved.... ummmm.. i Luv Moussaka!!! you should try it some time!

Kid you already made a big fuss by trying to pretend that it wasnt you... and what ever you try to convince that it wasnt you we all know that it was you... and will ever be. So enJOY it or leave it....And of course all we talk about is BUTTs cause thats what it really is all about....BUTTs and nothing else!

This is dedicated to Dave::: "Dave I'm down on my knees...please please make your thoughts more about U2 pleeeease"....and this to the girls..."its all about our boys butts..Oh yeah U2 babes...luv to all and enjoy.....The bleeting bell slicing up the pre-dawn’s comfort co-mingled with sighs of relief. Anticipation strummed a warm rhythm excitement through chilled veins. Matt stepped left of the flashing tail-lights waving a ‘go’ signal and the truck inched back professional slipping into the loading dock pocket neat as a pin. A few grinding gears, the swoosh of locking brakes, and the truck adjusted to a halt. Matt swung open the passenger door complaining, “Damn Boomie.. your 2 hours late, I was starting to piss coffee beans waiting for you!”“Oh really?…and a fine howdy do hello to you too Matt…and oh yes I had a nice trip thank you very much is there aught amiss, did the sky fall in?” Boomie slipped off her warm gloves. “ My I can see you were worrying yourself sick over little ol’ meeee!” Sliding him a sardonic side glance she scrunched up her face her nose primped in the air a caricature of someone smelling the hint of a skunk in there midst and Matt was definitely ‘it’. Automatically taking pity she teased, “Oh don’t get your cockels in an uproar you know as well as I just how stubborn these roads have become lately. Had no less than three darn shake-downs on I-5 alone and the nosy inspectors were mighty interested in our passengers if you know what I mean.” Matt did but he wasn’t about to fiddle with two-bit hick cops out on the take. Swiping a hand to his jaw he surmised “Our papers all in order the safety proceedures up to snuff no traffic laws broken right? So I hope I’m not missing anything… am I?” Matt was seriously on pins and needles so Boomie smiled that particular smile arching her back bone into it letting him eyeball the hook and Matt eased right onto it taking the bait grinning back like a school boy in a toy store. He knew that twinkle in her eye and it could only be good..good..good!“The’re the sweetest fellows your ever gonna set your eyes on, Matt me boy. Fact is.. I think they resemble there da.” Boomie thought of Elvis. One of their more notorious if not thee most majestic guest. Damn if his silver back wasn’t proof enough he was the undisputed King. Just maybe one of the wee ones coming up might surplant him. They’d have to wait and see.Matt queried again. “No hitches then?” Boomie shook her head nega-tore and he breathed his first healthy sigh of relief. He’d been particularly worried about the Orlando people, the Bush’s, he’d dealt with them before. Involuntarily he gritted down on his jaw. They had a rich reputation down in Florida seemingly ripe to cultivate nasty tendancies along with a reputation for frequently backing out of a deals leaving the buyer’s pickling in a state of shock. He sent a small thanks to the heavens seriously happy this deal had went through.“Let’s go see how everyone held up, shall we.” Bommie jumped down meeting Matt around back as he unlatched the big double doors. Swinging them wide a yelping bark eminated from the interior followed by several choice curses only a sailor could love bringing Matt to grinning. Recognizing that raucious voice he quiped “You gonna teach them all those choice 4-letter words in sign language, Hewson?”From somewhere within Hewson blurted “ Hell I’d do whatever it takes…the blimy bleed’n bugger tried to bite me. He’s a hold of me nipple ring with no incentive to let go.” Hewson was pleading rather pathetically by the time Matt traversed his way to the make shift cubicles. They’d constructed two at the end of the compartment to house these special guests. Kat giggled razzing, “Oh my gawd he’s such a baby, and believe me..I sure as shoot ain’t talking about Bono or Edgy either!” Little sucky noises could be heard as Kat cooed softly. She was coddling a fuzzy headed fellow so closely resembling his namesake it was uncanny. Matt’s brows rose as he took in the scene. His excitement and confusion was palpable, “Bono and Edgy?” Looking at Kats beaming face his eyes automatically rolled to Hewson. Visibly wincing he grumbled out “ Hell she’s been calling them that ever since she changed there wee nappies.” Matt wasn’t about to touch that with a ten foot pole so instead asked, “Everything go fine?” Kat’s face blazing with embarrassment after Hewson’s arrow hit home nodded yes and Hewson who had just extracted his nipple ring from a very strong grip began rubbing at his chest wincing his reply, “Everything went as smooth as those gorilla’s baby-butts.” Matt laughed taking in the sharp look Kat threw Hewson’s direction. He could see for himself their guests looked exceptionally fine and healthy then suggested “ Ok well then lets get them settled into there new digs shall we, I’m sure Triple must be anxiously waiting.” Matt was also thinking silently to himself that these two screamed tension. One you could cut with a knife. Either they were ready to chew each others head off or they were ready to fall into the nearest bed. Either way he didn’t want to be around when it happened. Packing up strewn gear they headed out with baby gorilla’s in tow.Ruby jogging up to the open doors, finished off the last of her buttered strawberry bisquit when the group emerged arms fully bundled with four sets of curious eyes looking up at her. She barely caught a glimpse of the darlings before they were wisked away to Triple’s vacilities. Hindered with a mouth full of breakfast she garbled up to Matt, “Hey got something for me?” He emerged with two draped cages in his hands transfering them to hers, “ I think you’ve found what you’ve been looking for my dear Ruby girl.” Peeking under the cover she bubbled, “Hello Micky and Keith …oh aren’t you two superb…I bet your hungry as eager beavers in an empty lodge…” Ruby’s voice trailed off as she disappeared around the building.Matt snorted ducking back inside wondering where Boomie had gotten herself off to.Trying unsuccessfully to ward off the morning chill Slate had been walking rather briskly until she’d spotted Boomie’s truck and broke into a run anxious to greet her new arrivals. Flanked by musclemen she hollered up to the open doorway, “ Where are my boys Matt, we’ve come bearing polar ice…mountains of ice…enough ice to soothe those arctic savage souls.”Matt appeared, a slight frown marring his forehead, “Hun you’ll have to wait till we un-load all passengers first. I’m afraid your guys are in the north end compartment. We’ll be needing the foreclift to load them up onto the flatbed, which also means this whole back area has to be emptied out first before you can transport them to the compound.” Matt knew she was sorry to hear that but it couldn’t be helped. Tanja emerging from around the right side of the truck traipsing up calling to Matt, “Ready as teddy to escort my furry guys to there fancy new condo.” Tanya peered over at Slate with a questioning glance just as Matt brought forth several leashes accomodating two big brown hairy dudes with really bad breath and announced, “All yours my dear keep them entertained with your dancing shoes alert. Trudy from Orlando said they don’t like tip-toeing but much prefer jogging to digest there meals and they just ate according to there charts ten minutes ago.” Tanja handling the two like a pro asked Matt for there names. “ Ozzie and Osbourne” he said rather cheekily. “Gawd you’re kidding? ” Tanja spurted. One of the hairy dudes reared up blasting a hot stream of fish breath right in her face. She crooned “Easy big fellow .. I like your names just fine….” Tugging twice upon each leash she made the hand jesture signaling it was time to move-out. Swiftly they obeyed …..boy oh boy did they ever. Flying past Matt at break neck speed she hollered back over her shoulder.. “Damn Black Sabbath to Hell….ooops...hold on big guy ..wait a minute fellows…slow down you big jackasses..” her voice trailing mute as she was hauled off down the trail by two rambunctious brown bear cubs that together out-weighed a ’62 volkswagon.Matt dissappeared just as Peggy skipped up greeting Slate and the team of muscle men. “Got a fine feathered friend around back there Matt?” Peggy winked at Slate sharing the running gag they always teased Matt with. He’d up and gotten plastered three sheets to the wind one night about six months ago. Just so totally beyond shh-nockered when on a drunken dare he’d set about commissioning a huge Bald Headed Eagle to be tatooed across his lily white butt! When he sobered up he couldn’t sit for a week. Now and for all eternity he was the brunt of every bird joke to come down the pike. The girls were still taking bets on when and who would get a chance glance to peek at it. Slate was the only real shoe-in so she didn’t count.Matt stepped out handing Peggy two cages. One filled with killer-diller canaries just magnificent in all there finery. The other contained two African Pigeons their eyes the brilliance of fine amber marbles, dubbed the British Knights for their fine coats of steel grey. Then retrieving his glove Matt brought out Harry Houdini placing him upon her shoulder pad safely securely, though his red plummage ruffled a bit before he settled down. The 3 year old African Parrot was as smart as his namesake so he was also tethered on a leash. Peggy whispered to him “No dissappearing acts if you please, Harry.” Heading off to Triple’s vacilities daring to tease as she went, “Matt don’t freeze your tushy off eagles like mild climate” giggling she headed off with Matt grumbling “Very funny Peg leg”.Soul Cat rounding the corner of the truck smiled her hello to Slate who was hanging-out with the muscle men. Knocking on the bumper Soul Cat mewed “kitty kitty kitties’ come to Mommy”...Matt smiled handing her the box overflowing with baby yellow kitten cubs lightly speckled indicating there parentage. There frantic yipping indicated it was time to eat so she headed out to Triple’s for a quick once over then onto the nursery where bottles were filled and ready.Hammy almost ran over Soul Cat as he barreled down the path swinging her and her babies in a perfect pirouette with both still standing never missing a step on his way. Laughing like the rogue he was, he greeted Slate and the musclemen asking Matt for his charge. Slate noticed his shirt pictured a purple pit bull wearing an eye patch and smoking a cigar with the words “Please Don’t let Me Be Misunderstood”..her puzzled look caused him to turn around where his back read ERIC BURDEN...F-CK I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD…then a list of tour dates. Turning he was grinning and humming the bass riff to the song then reached low in his chest coming up with a deep baritone blurting out “Oh baby I want you to know I never meant to take it out on you….oh lord please don’t let me be misunderstood”… Dispite her better judgement Slate chorused along then Matt showed up and added his warm rich voice. Slate wowed “Maaaan that sounded good you guys..we should hit the road as U2’s opener!” all scoffed laughing at there own folly. Matt brought out the juvenile kangaroo and plunked him in Hammy’s hands. The poor little fellow had an arm missing from an accident and was definitely in the special needs category..so walla hence rehabilitation was Hammy’s specialty. Slate noticed for all his cocky knavish ways, Hammy was a sweet loving man that qualified with the best at the end of the day. He lopped off towards Triple’s building.Boomie once again showed up two coffee’s steaming from her hands. “Matt got some more power beans for ya …you interested?” He jumped down from the truck shaking his head negative, “ Give it to Slate she looks half frozen.” Slate took it, sipping it like it was gods ambrosia. “..ummm that’s heaven. Matt are you about ready to give me my boys.” Matt noticed the muscle men with there sleeves rolled up and waiting with the foreclift fired-up. “In a minute Slate first I need to give Boomie her boon… here’s your new acquisition my dear girl.” Handing her the glass display it was cradling a dinasaur fossil the egg beyond priceless was one of a kind. “ Don’t go cloning the DNA from that guy Boomie, or we’d be snack food on in his rise to stardom.” Boomie snickered “Very funny” they’d had a disagreement on the theory of cloning so he got in another zinger just to tease her. Hugging it to her bosom she headed to the museum at the far end of the ZOO. “ Ok guys ..there all yours.” Matt moved out of the way and the muscle men did there thing. Slate had finished her drink and stepped up to Matt giving him a wet juicy one conveying her excitement in that one jesture. “ I’ve been waiting three months for this I didn’t think it would happen.” Her heart shinning in her eyes she said softly, “Thank you for giving me this wonderful opportunity to study my dream.” He loved the warmth she spread to the world. “This is going to be a great addition to the zoo. Are you ready for the opening tomorrow?” Her nod was tentative.. “I talked to U2’s manager and there going to be a little late but they’ll make it.” Giving her a reassuring hug he kissed her forehead. “ Hey they made this happen, without there financial support this zoo in TeaVee, Missouri wouldn’t even be here. They were the zoo’s largest contributors.The large metal-barred box was being placed on the waiting flatbed truck. In it housed two juvenile polar bears. The sun was just coming up over gods country washing the landscape in bright splashing hues. Slate looked at her boys Larry and Adam and for a second of whimsy the sun shown coating their gorgeous fur a brilliant golden-orange. They were simply breathtakingly magnificent. They’d be even better once they were in they’re polar ice capped environs. Slate let go of Matt and climbed behind the wheel of the flatbed. Smiling like a proud mama she headed for Triples.Matt gathered up his papers and locked up the transport. A few minutes later he came upon a mad cap scene with Triple center ring of the chaos. Animals were growling, birds chirping incessantly, parrots were cussing without reserve, babies were whining, mewing or down right squalling. It was enough to send a grown man to the quite lure of the mountains. Triple was wearing a crisp white mid thigh jacket that was a tad sooty from the two rascal beavers she was wrestling with. His eyes natural as breathing followed down her length taking in her leggy blue jeans and seviceable sturdy shoes. Triple already looked harassed and harried her pony tail swinging to and fro. The day had hardly begun. She and her twin sister Sarah were the best vet’s in the country..hell maybe the world. Sarah was no where to be seen which meant she was probably doing lab workups. Matt waved and Triple gave him all thumbs up, which meant everybody in good healthy shape so far. Sighing in relief he went on to his office and closed the door. Hitting the button on his cd a booming blast caught him off guard. Damn! Someone had stuck in an L.A. rapper corrupting his machine. Replacing it with the Joshua Tree he sat down and listened to the intro…then Bono’s voice…he loved it .. he loved them there selfless sharing. He silently thanked them for such marveling gifts..poetry in music..politics with thought...inspiration with a hell of a back beat. He loved his Zoo in Ropa, Calif. too and all his friends there as well. Life was good…….THE END Hope you enjoyed….say did any one get my Valentine’s???…I got Triple’s and it cracked me up….speaking of BUTTS!!! ….oh well my stupid computer never does a damn thing I say…duh! grrrrr luv soulie….

I like sneaking across open trenches with my big metal hat designed with outer rubber-substance-like spikes that get kids in trouble and others in a huff, all the while, I skip along spewing out endless replications and countless fascinations about how Athenian crocodiles can't fly into moussaka pie baked before the olympic dawn on Wednedsays.

Nice try Mr. Imposter, but the "real" Dave Hewson does not spell "Wednesdsays" that way....but have fun trying to live through me.

The voice tentitive unsure almost a shaky whisper edging on the verge of frantic hysteria asking the question, "Dave ..Dave.....what are you doing D-A-A-A-V-E?" silence insues to the point of a pin dropping like a canon ball...the voice hardens stern..no nonsense...."Listen Dave I can't see you....what are you doing? Ooooch what are you up too Dave?... now the voice held a thread of panic... "Dave I know what your thinking and well you just need to change your thoughts, Dave."... a weird silence was eating the air up leaving only static electricity.... a little nervous laugh erupted, "OK, listen Dave...we need to make a deal.. you touch that dial to compute, right? Your hitting a U2 site, right?..... the information rushed Dave like an electric storm...."Say Dave you still there? Damn it Dave what are YOU DOING?....blurb blurb blurb..click... grrrr blip

Wasn't me.

lol!! well it wern't me! My mind isn't so warped!

test

just get lost! can't you see we've got a thing going on??

Hee girls, good to hear you still reconize me! Having a good time with the boys? I'm doin' great with my guys....Had a great time on the Australian beaches with Mick and his kids! Now we're in that funny Japan...O any place is good with my darling around....Sorry I couldn't visit you more often...When I'm 'hanging', I'm hanging @dougs (thats shidoobeewithstonesdoug)...that's really the place to be now....well, you still got a special place in my heart...B!G hugs to all of you!Don't forget..., keep working out...keep up your tan...and BE the best looking girl in the neighbourhood....Bye 4 now (mmmMick is pulling me away....want some more LLLLICKS...)

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fair point....